Special: Blair Witch/Snowden/Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Mini-Reviews

Blair Witch

Synopsis: A group of college students venture into the Black Hills Forest in Maryland to uncover the mysteries surrounding the disappearance of James' sister who many believe is connected to the legend of the Blair Witch. At first the group is hopeful, especially when a pair of locals offer to act as guides through the dark and winding woods, but as the endless night wears on, the group is visited by a menacing presence. Slowly, they begin to realize the legend is all too real and more sinister than they could have imagined.

My thoughts: It wasn't scary, it utilizes all of maybe 2 or 3 jump scares. You can hardly see what's going on with the shaky cam and even when you can see it's not at all interesting... But hey if sticks scare the shit out of you, this movie will have you running out of the theater screaming.

Final verdict: 1 "scary" stick out of 5.

Snowden

Synopsis: Academy Award winning director Oliver Stone, tackles the most important and fascinating true story of the 21st century. Snowden, the politically-charged, pulse-pounding thriller starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Shailene Woodley, reveals the incredible untold personal story of Edward Snowden, the polarizing figure who exposed shocking illegal surveillance activities by the NSA and became one of the most wanted men in the world. He is considered a hero by some, and a traitor by others. No matter which you believe, the epic story of why he did it, who he left behind, and how he pulled it off makes for one of the most compelling films of the year.

My thoughts: It was interesting and entertaining but there was a sort of laziness done to the final product, but I mean that's kind of been Stone's M.O. for the last decade plus. It's certainly a step in the right direction for the longtime director though.

Final verdict: 3 (nearly 4) rubix cubes out of 5.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Synopsis: SNL alumni Tina Fey steps into the well worn shoes of journalist Kim Barker in Paramount Pictures' adaptation of Barker's memoir The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan, which details her years as a reporter in Pakistan and Afghanistan beginning in 2002.

My thoughts: Fey, Robbie and Freeman are all likable, though not much else is great in this film. It had a couple laughs but I think the premise of doing a romantic comedy in a war torn country with war going on using privileged white characters makes it hard to care about what's going on in their lives with this massive world-scaled problem being in the background.

Final verdict: 3 creepy Alfred Molina's out of 5.

Special: Annabelle/This Is Where I Leave You/The Equalizer Mini-Reviews

It's been a while since I did one of these mini-review sets. I did it with new comic series a while back and since October is another hot bed for new series you can likely expect another but last night I attended my local drive-in for a triple feature night so let's talk briefly about each.

Annabelle:

"Before there was The Conjuring, there was Annabelle" Warner Bros. tagline for their creepy doll horror flick that serves as a quasi-prequel to last summer's breakout horror hit The Conjuring. Annabelle tells the story of a newly married couple, expecting their first child, that has occultist's run into their home after killing their next door neighbours, the occultist girls maternal parents, they escape unharmed however as the police kill the male and the girl died of an apparent suicide with a doll in her arms, Annabelle. In typical horror movie fashion the doll follows the couple and their newborn baby and torments them.

My thoughts? This movie was boring. It borrowed from some of the worst movie franchises without bringing anything new to the table. Their was one truly scary moment that didn't rely on failed jump scares. How bored was I? I timed the damn movie, 50 minutes before we actually see the damn doll move, that's right over half the runtime was setting up that there is clearly something wrong with this doll. There was nothing particularly good about this movie, the only good thing I can say about it is at least it's not Paranormal Activity 4. I wasn't particularly fond of The Conjuring either, it was just okay, but at least I didn't dislike it.

Final verdict: 2 out of 5 creepy porcelain dolls.

This Is Where I Leave You:

When their father passes away, four grown siblings, Judd, Wendy, Paul and Philip are forced to return to their childhood home and live under the same roof together for a week, along with their over-sharing mother. Judd is dealing with the impending divorce from his wife Gwen after catching her in bed with her boss on her birthday. Wendy's return home reminds her of her past love she left behind in order to leave town, now stuck in a loveless marriage she wonders what might have happened had she stayed. Paul never left home and shared the family business with his father though his wife, Judd's ex-girlfriend, are trying desperately to have children and the stress is affecting both of them. Philip, the youngest, brings his new girlfriend for the family to meet, a world renown psychiatrist who's closer to his mother's age than his.

My thoughts? With an extremely likable cast, who shine brightly throughout despite that this is really Bateman's rodeo, and very funny moments I'd like to say this movie was better but in reality it was really flawed. There were no surprises as things started to unfold. Upon meeting everyone and finding out their relationships and problems you can pretty much map out what is going to happen. Don't get me wrong, this is a good movie I would recommend to anyone, but it was very similar to other problematic family movies such as The Savages and The Way Way Back with it's overly used cliches.

Final verdict: 3 (bordering on 4) out of 5 dysfunctional families.

The Equalizer:

In The Equalizer, Denzel Washington plays Robert McCall, a man who believes he has put his mysterious past behind him and dedicated himself to beginning a new, quiet life. But when McCall meets Teri (Chloë Grace Moretz), a young girl under the control of ultra-violent Russian gangsters, he can't stand idly by - he has to help her. Armed with hidden skills that allow him to serve vengeance against anyone who would brutalise the helpless, McCall soon realises he's made more enemies than he had originally anticipated, but he's prepared to fight for what's right. He is The Equalizer.

This was a silly, silly movie. It tried to be ultra-violent while showing very little in the way of violence. They show a drill and insinuate it is going into someones head and you hear screams then see a bloody drill bit. That being said, this movie was never not entertaining. Most say Denzel is one of the last true stars in Hollywood as his last movie as a leading male to not open above 20 million was the awful Out Of Time back in 2003 which opened to a paltry 16 million. Moretz isn't given as big of a role as the studio wants you to think but she's the moral centre of the film so although she may not be there she's constantly on your mind. Antoine Fuqua's direction is solid, despite the silliness and I'll always watch Denzel bust some bad guys. The movie did feel a little bit long especially since you can pinpoint a handful of points when Denzel could put an end to the mob and vice-versa but that's Hollywood for you.

Final verdict: 4 out of 5 bloody hardware tools.