Sunday 12 October 2014

Special: Annabelle/This Is Where I Leave You/The Equalizer Mini-Reviews

It's been a while since I did one of these mini-review sets. I did it with new comic series a while back and since October is another hot bed for new series you can likely expect another but last night I attended my local drive-in for a triple feature night so let's talk briefly about each.

Annabelle:

"Before there was The Conjuring, there was Annabelle" Warner Bros. tagline for their creepy doll horror flick that serves as a quasi-prequel to last summer's breakout horror hit The Conjuring. Annabelle tells the story of a newly married couple, expecting their first child, that has occultist's run into their home after killing their next door neighbours, the occultist girls maternal parents, they escape unharmed however as the police kill the male and the girl died of an apparent suicide with a doll in her arms, Annabelle. In typical horror movie fashion the doll follows the couple and their newborn baby and torments them.

My thoughts? This movie was boring. It borrowed from some of the worst movie franchises without bringing anything new to the table. Their was one truly scary moment that didn't rely on failed jump scares. How bored was I? I timed the damn movie, 50 minutes before we actually see the damn doll move, that's right over half the runtime was setting up that there is clearly something wrong with this doll. There was nothing particularly good about this movie, the only good thing I can say about it is at least it's not Paranormal Activity 4. I wasn't particularly fond of The Conjuring either, it was just okay, but at least I didn't dislike it.

Final verdict: 2 out of 5 creepy porcelain dolls.

This Is Where I Leave You:

When their father passes away, four grown siblings, Judd, Wendy, Paul and Philip are forced to return to their childhood home and live under the same roof together for a week, along with their over-sharing mother. Judd is dealing with the impending divorce from his wife Gwen after catching her in bed with her boss on her birthday. Wendy's return home reminds her of her past love she left behind in order to leave town, now stuck in a loveless marriage she wonders what might have happened had she stayed. Paul never left home and shared the family business with his father though his wife, Judd's ex-girlfriend, are trying desperately to have children and the stress is affecting both of them. Philip, the youngest, brings his new girlfriend for the family to meet, a world renown psychiatrist who's closer to his mother's age than his.

My thoughts? With an extremely likable cast, who shine brightly throughout despite that this is really Bateman's rodeo, and very funny moments I'd like to say this movie was better but in reality it was really flawed. There were no surprises as things started to unfold. Upon meeting everyone and finding out their relationships and problems you can pretty much map out what is going to happen. Don't get me wrong, this is a good movie I would recommend to anyone, but it was very similar to other problematic family movies such as The Savages and The Way Way Back with it's overly used cliches.

Final verdict: 3 (bordering on 4) out of 5 dysfunctional families.

The Equalizer:

In The Equalizer, Denzel Washington plays Robert McCall, a man who believes he has put his mysterious past behind him and dedicated himself to beginning a new, quiet life. But when McCall meets Teri (Chloƫ Grace Moretz), a young girl under the control of ultra-violent Russian gangsters, he can't stand idly by - he has to help her. Armed with hidden skills that allow him to serve vengeance against anyone who would brutalise the helpless, McCall soon realises he's made more enemies than he had originally anticipated, but he's prepared to fight for what's right. He is The Equalizer.

This was a silly, silly movie. It tried to be ultra-violent while showing very little in the way of violence. They show a drill and insinuate it is going into someones head and you hear screams then see a bloody drill bit. That being said, this movie was never not entertaining. Most say Denzel is one of the last true stars in Hollywood as his last movie as a leading male to not open above 20 million was the awful Out Of Time back in 2003 which opened to a paltry 16 million. Moretz isn't given as big of a role as the studio wants you to think but she's the moral centre of the film so although she may not be there she's constantly on your mind. Antoine Fuqua's direction is solid, despite the silliness and I'll always watch Denzel bust some bad guys. The movie did feel a little bit long especially since you can pinpoint a handful of points when Denzel could put an end to the mob and vice-versa but that's Hollywood for you.

Final verdict: 4 out of 5 bloody hardware tools.

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