Special: Blair Witch/Snowden/Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Mini-Reviews

Blair Witch

Synopsis: A group of college students venture into the Black Hills Forest in Maryland to uncover the mysteries surrounding the disappearance of James' sister who many believe is connected to the legend of the Blair Witch. At first the group is hopeful, especially when a pair of locals offer to act as guides through the dark and winding woods, but as the endless night wears on, the group is visited by a menacing presence. Slowly, they begin to realize the legend is all too real and more sinister than they could have imagined.

My thoughts: It wasn't scary, it utilizes all of maybe 2 or 3 jump scares. You can hardly see what's going on with the shaky cam and even when you can see it's not at all interesting... But hey if sticks scare the shit out of you, this movie will have you running out of the theater screaming.

Final verdict: 1 "scary" stick out of 5.

Snowden

Synopsis: Academy Award winning director Oliver Stone, tackles the most important and fascinating true story of the 21st century. Snowden, the politically-charged, pulse-pounding thriller starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Shailene Woodley, reveals the incredible untold personal story of Edward Snowden, the polarizing figure who exposed shocking illegal surveillance activities by the NSA and became one of the most wanted men in the world. He is considered a hero by some, and a traitor by others. No matter which you believe, the epic story of why he did it, who he left behind, and how he pulled it off makes for one of the most compelling films of the year.

My thoughts: It was interesting and entertaining but there was a sort of laziness done to the final product, but I mean that's kind of been Stone's M.O. for the last decade plus. It's certainly a step in the right direction for the longtime director though.

Final verdict: 3 (nearly 4) rubix cubes out of 5.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Synopsis: SNL alumni Tina Fey steps into the well worn shoes of journalist Kim Barker in Paramount Pictures' adaptation of Barker's memoir The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan, which details her years as a reporter in Pakistan and Afghanistan beginning in 2002.

My thoughts: Fey, Robbie and Freeman are all likable, though not much else is great in this film. It had a couple laughs but I think the premise of doing a romantic comedy in a war torn country with war going on using privileged white characters makes it hard to care about what's going on in their lives with this massive world-scaled problem being in the background.

Final verdict: 3 creepy Alfred Molina's out of 5.

Special: The Night Before/Krampus/A Very Murray Christmas Mini-Reviews

'Tis the holiday season so why not tackle some mini-reviews on some of the holiday flicks that hit your local multiplex and streaming service this year.

The Night Before:

Ethan, Isaac, and Chris have been friends since childhood, and for a decade, their yearly Christmas Eve reunion has been an annual night of debauchery and hilarity. Now that they're entering adulthood, the tradition is coming to an end, and to make it as memorable as possible, they set out to find the Nutcracka Ball - the Holy Grail of Christmas parties.

My thoughts? Not too often you have a Christmas movie that hits on so many different emotions like The Night Before does, all 3 of our main characters are flawed and overcoming those flaws with the help of their friends and a drug dealing Michael Shannon, surprisingly being the emotional centerpiece to this film. More importantly this movie is also really funny which is almost as rare as an emotionally satisfying Christmas film.

Final verdict: 4 out of 5 drug dealing Zod's.

Krampus:

When his dysfunctional family clashes over the holidays, young Max is disillusioned and turns his back on Christmas. Little does he know, this lack of festive spirit has unleashed the wrath of Krampus: a demonic force of ancient evil intent on punishing non-believers. All hell breaks loose as beloved holiday icons take on a monstrous life of their own, laying siege to the fractured family's home and forcing them to fight for each other if they hope to survive.

My thoughts? Not nearly as scary or horrifying as the trailer's make it seem but Krampus is still good campy fun. You can tell that it's a traditional comedic cast and that overshadows what little gore there actually is. Mostly the scares come from the toys and elves that look more menacing than you usually see them in Rankin-Bass specials. But overall this movie is more akin to Gremlins than to Black X-Mas.

Final verdict:4 out of 5 homicidal gingerbread men.

A Very Murray Christmas:

Bill Murray worries no one will show up to his T.V. show due to a terrible snow-storm in New York City.

My thoughts? People have been crapping all over this Netflix Original Holiday Special. It currently holds a 36% user rating on Rotten Tomatoes, despite a solid 77% critic rating, to go along with a 5.8 user rating at IMDB and an ever lower 5.1 user rating at Metacritic. I will say not a lot happens in this special, A snow storm knocks out the power cancelling Bill's Christmas Special so he's stuck in the hotel singing songs with the staff and other occupants before passing out and going into a dream sequence where George Clooney and Miley Cyrus show up to sing along with Bill. This can essentially be explained as a series of famous people (Chris Rock, Maya Rudolph and Jason Schwartzmen among them) singing famous Christmas songs along with Bill Murray for an hour. Not my cup of tea but obviously some people will and have enjoyed this, just don't expect a plot.

Final verdict: 2 out of 5 golden rings.