Special: Deconstructing Simple Plan's "My Christmas List"

We got another holiday special for you kiddos. It has been 20 years since Simple Plan wrote and recorded their Christmas single "My Christmas List" which just hit digital streaming platforms this year (finally). But some of the lyrics have definitely aged so we're going to look at all the "wants" Pierre and the band list and see how they hold up as we enter 2022.

1. I want a car: This is a pretty safe bet to age well. There will likely always be some type of car. Had they of said "I want a Pontiac Sunfire" then we'd be cringing.

2. I want a life: The irony of "Welcome To My Life" being their biggest hit a few short years later. But yeah, the younger generation feels like they have no life outside of school and/or work so I'd say this aged pretty well too for them but as for 40+ year old Pierre and his generation I don't think they say "I want a life" often.

3. I want a first class trip to Hawaii: Yeah, who wouldn't want a sunny getaway in December? I feel this would apply to us older folks more but I'm sure young adults would dream of hooking up with some hula girls as well.

4. I want a lifetime supply of Skittles: Skittles are a classic. 40 year olds likely wouldn't want a lifetime supply for themselves but hey they make great gifts I'm sure. 

5. I want a lifetime supply of Slurpees: Slurpees are 7-11's version of Icee drinks. They are extremely popular, in Canada anyways, and I would absolutely love this at 32 as much as I would have at 18.

6. I want a lifetime supply of Eskimo pies: So I had to look up what this was, I never had a real one but I'm sure Canada has some knock off brands I've had but yeah "Eskimo" is a taboo term so this aged poorly as the company itself has changed the name to "Edy's Pies"

7. I want a DVD: People still buy DVD's for sure, but in the context of this song it's clear they meant DVD player just shortened it to DVD and I don't think anyone has bought a standalone DVD player out of the box in the last decade.

8. I want a big screen tv: Another ageless wonder by being vague. Had this of been "Widescreen TV" we'd have a big Oof as that was the thing of the future in the early 00's.

9: I want a girl in my bed (who knows what to do): The general idea of wanting a girl who knows what to do is okay in a vaccum but I dunno as a gift you want someone to bring/buy you seems either rapey or someone gifting you a prostitute which seems a little off to me.

10: I want a Playstation 2: We're over 1 year into the lifespan of the Playstation 5 so yeah. This is pretty old but hey at least they used a system made by a company still using the branding and making consoles. It could've been "Sega Dreamcast" or "Nintendo Gamecube".

11: I want a shopping spree in NYC: And to close it off another safe bet unless New York City becomes a dystopian city Mad Max style in our lifetime. That seems less likely than cars, tv's or 7-11's becoming obsolete though.

Special: Ranking Simple Plan "Still Not Getting Any..."

I had the pleasure of seeing Simple Plan on their tour with State Champs and We The Kings yesterday so I thought what better time than to release this ranking since it also just celebrated it's 15th birthday. This was Simple Plan's sophomore release after their rousing debut "No Pads, No Helmets... Just Balls"

11. Everytime

One of two love songs on this record. There is just nothing memorable about this track. Sure I sing along to it when it comes on since I grew up on this record and know all the words but apart from that I don't give this song a thought.

10. One

It's a great message but "One" doesn't offer us too much else as they tried to set this track apart from the others but it just sounds like a messy, lite version of Welcome To My Life.

9. Perfect World

When this album first came this was one of my favourite tracks, so I'm not sure why it no longer holds up as well. The lyrics still have a lot of meaning 15 years later and it was the only song to get a music video after the 4 actual singles, it just doesn't. It's weird.

8. Me Against The World

This album is full of bangers and as much ad I'd like to put them all at the top this is called "Ranking" so that simply won't do so the lowest of the bangers is this one. It's fun it's bouncy. It's about doing whatever you want to... This description can apply to two other songs on this record but they're better.

7. Thank You

This track is extremely resentful and with that it makes it the most like their previous album which is obviously not a bad thing since I love that record but at the same time you don't wanna be caught going back to the same well over and over again which is why this ends up in the middle.

6. Untitled

How could this happen to meeeeeeeeeeeee. Just like Perfect an album earlier, Simple Plan set out to pull at everyone's heartstrings with this little ditty and guess what? It worked. With a music video to match this emotional song was a Top 50 song for the band acting as their third single.

5. Promise

A love song that is also a banger? Simple Plan has done this before as well but Promise is likely the most underrated song on this album given how hard it goes musically and the lyrics are beautiful without being corny.

4. Crazy

The fourth and final single released from the album, Crazy is another gem on the ablum. It plays at mid-tempo and if it weren't for the #1 spot on this list it would likely be their best mid-tempo song they ever released.

3. Shut Up

Ooooo so angsty. Haha. Shut Up sounds like a big "fuck you" song but it really is about believing in yourself and doing what you need to do regardless of what other people, especially the nay-sayers tell you to do.

2. Jump

Like Shut Up and Me Against The World before it, this bouncy track is about doing what's best for you and making yourself happy. It's also the only song in the top 4 to not be a single but given that in recent years it's passed Shut Up and became the staple bouncy track from this album to get played live it's clear that it's a fan favourite.

1. Welcome To My Life

We hit #1 on our list and let's be honest, you all seen this coming. Welcome To My Life was their first single from this album and their only single to ever hit #1 anywhere (it did it here in Canada). It's among their biggest and probably their most memorable among casual and non-fans alike given the relatable nature of the song.