Special: Greyhound, Artemis Fowl, Extraction Mini-Reviews

Greyhound:

Synopsis: In the early days of WWII, an international convoy of 37 Allied ships, led by captain Ernest Krause (Hanks) in his first command of a U.S. destroyer, crosses the treacherous North Atlantic while hotly pursued by wolf packs of Nazi U-boats.

My thoughts: A fast paced war movie? (Insert Allan Parish "What Year Is It" meme). Greyhound makes the most of it's 90 minutes keeping the script and pacing tight for an emotional and action driven ride considering it's a movie about boats running away from submarines. There are some annoyances, sure. Tom Hanks is great and the nicest guy in the world but at the same time how many times can he play the same character? The supporting cast is also nothing to write home about but as far as a direct streaming service movie goes you can do much worse.

Final verdict: 3 torpedo diversions out of 5.

Artemis Fowl:

Synopsis: Based on the first two books in author Eoin Colfer wildly popular children's fantasy series, Walt Disney Studios' Artemis Fowl tells the story of adolescent criminal genius Artemis, who captures a vicious fairy, and attempts to harness her magical powers in a bid to rescue his family.

My thoughts: Let's start with the good, the visuals are stunning and as far as not knowing the source material, which I don't, I had no problems with the story itself. That being said the acting was not strong, neither by the kids or the known commodities as even Josh Gad came off as "try hard". The storytelling itself was all over the place and the movie didn't seem to know what tone it wanted to take from scene to scene. Chaotic and frantic over 90 minutes is not the way to make a film, but it's hardly the giant sticker everyone makes it out to be as at least it spent it's 140 million on special effects and didn't just phone it in.

Final verdict: 2 fairies out of 5.

Extraction:

Synopsis: Tyler Rake (Chris Hemsworth) is a fearless black market mercenary with nothing left to lose when his skills are solicited to rescue the kidnapped son of an imprisoned international crime lord. But in the murky underworld of weapons dealers and drug traffickers, an already deadly mission approaches the impossible, forever altering the lives of Rake and the boy.

My thoughts: I'd like to simply tell you that this Netflix original is simply a good popcorn flick but it's much more than that. It's got some incredible action sequences (including some long ones that are sure to delight action fans). It's also got thrilling, comedic and the rare emotional element in it as well. It's not a stretch to say this is one of, if not, the best film Netflix has put out this calendar year thus far.

Final verdict: 4 mercenaries out of 5.

Special: It Chapter 2, Dora And The Lost City Of Gold, Men In Black International Mini-Reviews

It: Chapter 2

Synopsis: Evil resurfaces in Derry as director Andy Muschietti reunites the Losers Club in a return to where it all began with "IT Chapter Two," the conclusion to the highest-grossing horror film of all time. Twenty-seven years after the Losers Club defeated Pennywise, he has returned to terrorize the town of Derry once more. Now adults, the Losers have long since gone their separate ways. However, kids are disappearing again, so Mike, the only one of the group to remain in their hometown, calls the others home. Damaged by the experiences of their past, they must each conquer their deepest fears to destroy Pennywise once and for all...putting them directly in the path of the clown that has become deadlier than ever.

My thoughts: It's not nearly as strong as the first, partly because the scares were minimized to (likely) appeal to the surprising number of smaller children that seen the 1st part and although a lot has been made of the length it did not seem long and was expected with them needing to shoehorn time for the younger cast into part 2.

Final verdict: 4 happy dancing clowns out of 5.

Dora And The Lost City Of Gold:

Synopsis: Having spent most of her life exploring the jungle with her parents, nothing could prepare Dora (Isabela Moner) for her most dangerous adventure ever -- High School. Always the explorer, Dora quickly finds herself leading Boots (her best friend, a monkey), Diego (Jeffrey Wahlberg), a mysterious jungle inhabitant (Eugenio Derbez), and a rag tag group of teens on a live-action adventure to save her parents (Eva Longoria, Michael Peña) and solve the impossible mystery behind a lost city of gold.

My thoughts: I never really watched Dora in my life, I was too old when it came out and although I babysat cousins that watched it I wasn't really paying attention. That being said, this was an excellent movie. They kept out the really weird parts of the cartoon that wouldn't work in a live action film but they were still able to give them nods. A tamed down tomb raider with more laughter and even, dare I say, more adventure? Dora is definitely worth your time.

Final verdict: 4.5 poo songs out of 5.

Men In Black International:

Synopsis: The Men in Black have always protected the Earth from the scum of the universe. In this new adventure, they tackle their biggest, most global threat to date: a mole in the Men in Black organization.

My thoughts: As far as Men In Black movies go, this one didn't have the same heart as the others. They had the opportunity to make a good story with Tessa's characters backstory but they never really did anything for it other than giving her a reason to show up. The humour was definitely the scripts focus and it worked but not sure it was worth the downgrade in other departments. Kumail's voicework was more than enough comedy that they didn't need to lead Hemsworth into "funny" territory (with mixed results at that). In the end International is solid but certainly the weakest in the franchise.

Final verdict: 3.5 neuralizers out of 5.

Special: Avengers: Endgame, Long Shot, Dragonball Super: Broly Mini-Reviews

Avengers: Endgame:

Synopsis: The grave course of events set in motion by Thanos that wiped out half the universe and fractured the Avengers ranks compels the remaining Avengers to take one final stand in Marvel Studios' grand conclusion to twenty-two films, "Avengers: Endgame."

My thoughts: This was a highly satisfying movie. I will not give away anything spoilery but I will say the film takes a few unexpected twists and turns each more enjoyable than the next. The Avengers were due for change after Infinity War and Endgame provides it as a step up from it's predecessor. The 3 hour run time feels like 1.5 since you're so invested in what's happening with lots of comedy, enough action and even some drama blended in for good measure. Can't wait to see what the next 22 films have in store for us.

Final verdict: 5 snaps out of 5.

Long Shot:

Synopsis: Fred Flarsky (Seth Rogen) is a gifted and free-spirited journalist with an affinity for trouble. Charlotte Field (Charlize Theron) is one of the most influential women in the world. Smart, sophisticated, and accomplished, she's a powerhouse diplomat with a talent for... well, mostly everything. The two have nothing in common, except that she was his babysitter and childhood crush. When Fred unexpectedly reconnects with Charlotte, he charms her with his self-deprecating humor and his memories of her youthful idealism. As she prepares to make a run for the Presidency, Charlotte impulsively hires Fred as her speechwriter, much to the dismay of her trusted advisors. A fish out of water on Charlotte's elite team, Fred is unprepared for her glamorous lifestyle in the limelight. However, sparks fly as their unmistakable chemistry leads to a round-the-world romance and a series of unexpected and dangerous incidents.

My thoughts: Honestly I went into this thinking this was a solid 3 since I don't do halves but I'm having a hard time getting it that low. The chemistry between the stars is undeniable even if sometimes it reverts back to typical Seth Rogen fair but you quickly forget when the script gets sharper.

Final verdict: 4 embarrassing boners out of 5.

Dragonball Super: Broly:

Synopsis: A planet destroyed, a powerful race reduced to nothing. After the devastation of Planet Vegeta, three Saiyans were scattered among the stars, destined for different fates. While two found a home on Earth, the third was raised with a burning desire for vengeance and developed an unbelievable power. And the time for revenge has come. Destinies collide in a battle that will shake the universe to its very core!

My thoughts: I was pretty disappointed with this. I've enjoyed the last few Dragonball movies quite a bit and I got the hype for this one since it made Broly cannon as he previously only appeared in GT, a series widely panned and quickly wrote off as not cannon but people loved Broly. I never watched GT so I didn't have that attachment so for me this film introduced me to him and it did very little. The fight scenes as always was exciting and I enjoyed the ending we got however there wasn't a whole lot going on here, much to my chagrin,

Final Verdict: 3 Saiyans out of 5

Special: Avengers: Infinity War, I Feel Pretty, Death Wish Mini-Reviews

Avengers: Infinity War:

Synopsis: An unprecedented cinematic journey ten years in the making and spanning the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Studios' "Avengers: Infinity War" brings to the screen the ultimate, deadliest showdown of all time. The Avengers and their Super Hero allies must be willing to sacrifice all in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe.

My thoughts: Upon the initial viewing, this seemed like a nearly flawless movie. Once it got a 2nd viewing though I noticed it does suffer from some pacing issues that was overlooked initially out of excitement of knowing how certain heroes who never met would interact with each other. Obviously with so many characters and only so much screen time for each this could've been a mess but they navigated it pretty skillfully so overall it's hard to say much negative things about Infinity War.

Final verdict: 5 dead heroes out of 5.

I Feel Pretty:

Synopsis: In I FEEL PRETTY a woman who struggles with feelings of deep insecurity and low self-esteem, that hold her back everyday, wakes from a brutal fall in an exercise class believing she is suddenly a supermodel. With this newfound confidence she is empowered to live her life fearlessly and flawlessly, but what will happen when she realizes her appearance never changed?

My thoughts: It's basically a paint by numbers romcom about a woman's beauty being judged from what's within and not the exterior... with a backdrop of selling makeup. Apparently the irony of that was lost on the writers, I wanted to give this 2 stars so badly just based on how derivative it was but I did laugh a few times which gives it the slightest bump up.

Final verdict: 3 mascaras out of 5.

Death Wish:

Synopsis: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures presents director Eli Roth's reimagining of the 1974 revenge thriller Death Wish. Dr. Paul Kersey (Bruce Willis) is a surgeon who only sees the aftermath of his city's violence when it is rushed into his ER - until his wife (Elisabeth Shue) and college-age daughter (Camila Morrone) are viciously attacked in their suburban home. With the police overloaded with crimes, Paul, burning for revenge, hunts his family's assailants to deliver justice. As the anonymous slayings of criminals grabs the media's attention, the city wonders if this deadly avenger is a guardian angel or a grim reaper. Fury and fate collide in the intense action-thriller Death Wish. Paul Kersey becomes a divided person: a man who saves lives, and a man who takes them; a husband and father trying to take care of his family, and a shadowy figure fighting crime; a surgeon extracting bullets from suspects' bodies, and a man seeking justice that detectives are quickly closing in on.

My thoughts: Eli Roth is obviously not known for making action movies, but he does sneak in a bit of his signature horror moments but overall it tows the line between the two genres without really being able to standout in either. It's a fine movie worth a watch but maybe it's best to stream on Netflix in a few months instead of spending your hard earned cash on it.

Final verdict: 3 exploded brains out of 5.

Special: Doctor Strange/Ghostbusters/The Witch Mini-Reviews

Doctor Strange:

Synopsis: A disgraced former surgeon named Stephen Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) becomes a powerful sorcerer under the tutelage of a mystic known as the Ancient One (Tilda Swinton). Rachel McAdams, Mads Mikkelsen, and Chiwetel Ejiofor co-star in this entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Directed by Scott Derrickson (Sinister).

My thoughts: Going in I was worried there'd be too much world bending and we'd be left with more visuals then plot. Happy to report that isn't the case, however apart from a couple scenes I was disappointed with the lack of visuals. A lot of the fight scenes were hand to hand... Which is fine if this was a Cap movie but c'mon this is the Sorcerer Supreme! We should get more than magical glowing nun-chucks and sticks.

Final verdict: 4 bent buildings out of 5.

Ghostbusters:

Synopsis: Ghostbusters makes its long-awaited return, rebooted with a cast of hilarious new characters. Thirty years after the beloved original franchise took the world by storm, director Paul Feig brings his fresh take to the supernatural comedy, joined by some of the funniest actors working today--Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, and Chris Hemsworth. This summer, they're here to save the world!

My thoughts: Not as bad as I expected, but not nearly as good as the reviews were giving it credit for. Chris Hemsworth was the worst part (so you can calm down feminists). The cameos were fun and basically the only thing I looked forward to as the story never pulled me in like the original.

Final verdict: 3 original cameos out of 5.

The Witch:

Synopsis: In this exquisitely made and terrifying new horror film, the age-old concepts of witchcraft, black magic and possession are innovatively brought together to tell the intimate and riveting story of one family's frightful unraveling in the New England wilderness circa 1630. New England, 1630. Upon threat of banishment by the church, an English farmer leaves his colonial plantation, relocating his wife and five children to a remote plot of land on the edge of an ominous forest - within which lurks an unknown evil. Strange and unsettling things begin to happen almost immediately - animals turn malevolent, crops fail, and one child disappears as another becomes seemingly possessed by an evil spirit. With suspicion and paranoia mounting, family members accuse teenage daughter Thomasin of witchcraft, charges she adamantly denies. As circumstances grow more treacherous, each family member's faith, loyalty and love become tested in shocking and unforgettable ways. Writer/director Robert Eggers' debut feature, which premiered to great acclaim at the 2015 Sundance Film Festival - winning the Best Director Prize in the U.S. Narrative Competition - painstakingly recreates a God-fearing New England decades before the 1692 Salem witch trials, in which religious convictions tragically turned to mass hysteria. Told through the eyes of the adolescent Thomasin - in a star-making turn by newcomer Anya Taylor-Joy - and supported by mesmerizing camera work and a powerful musical score, THE WITCH is a chilling and groundbreaking new take on the genre.

My thoughts: It was bad. It starts off at least a little interesting but it loses all semblence of at least a mildly interesting or entertaining flick by the time it hits the 45 minute mark.

Final verdict: 1 bad movie out of 5.