Special: Kingsman: The Secret Service Review

There is a top secret agency that operates off the grid from any government affiliation. They are the Kingsman, British intelligence, gentleman first, secret agent second. The Kingsman are the self proclaimed "new knights" and they are named that way lead by Arthur and his 12 knights (note: Their table is not round, a missed opportunity if you ask me). This agency is so secret that there is very few people that know about it, including billionaire Internet mogul Valentine who is dealing with these unknown agents meddling in his affairs.

Kingsman agent Lancelot is investigating a local college professor who happens to get kidnapped by Valentine and his team, upon discovering this he attempts a solo rescue mission only to be terminated by Valentine's assistant/expert assassin Gazelle, a fleet yet no footed killer that uses swords on the bottom of her prosthetic blades to neutralise her enemies. That leaves an opening for a new Lancelot and each Kingsman is in charge of bringing in a new recruit to be tested with the winner getting the right to be Kingsman.

Harry Hart, played by Colin Firth, is the Kingsman sent to follow up on the case Lancelot was working on. 17 years prior Harry selected a young marine as his trainee and he sacrificed himself to save Harry and others, forcing Harry to deliver the bad news to his widow and young son, giving the son a medal that had a phone number carved into it if he ever needed help. Back to current time and the young son mentioned earlier had turned into a trouble adult named Eggsy who calls Harry. Harry tries to repay the debt to Eggsy's deceased father by taking him under his wing and nominates him as his trainee for the Lancelot job.

This isn't your usual on the job training however, the recruits are put through a number of test by Merlin, Kingsman aid, played perfectly by veteran Mark Strong, the tests are meant to test the trainees limits, strength, endurance and stealth ability. Meanwhile Harry is still trying to crack the Valentine case, all he knows is that a number of the world's most powerful celebrities and dignities are going missing only for some of them to resurface with a scar behind their ear which turns out not only protects them from Valentine's master plan but also allows Valentine to blow their head up anytime Harry, or any other Kingsman tries to get the truth from them.

On to the review... What most people don't realise is that Kingsman: The Secret Service is actually based off a comic book called The Secret Service written by Mark Millar of Kick-Ass and Civil War fame, and Kingsman is very much in the same vein of the Kick-Ass movie which is not surprising since Kingsman director Matthew Vaughn teamed up with Mark Millar on Kick-Ass as well. It pays homage to the old Bond movies while still having the over the top action scenes we've come to expect from a Vaughn movie. In fact I was a little disappointed with Kick-Ass' final product but watching Kingsman I couldn't help but think to myself that this is what Kick-Ass should've been. Stylised over the top action.

Speaking of style, you'll hear me drop that word a lot in this review by the way, that's what the Kingsman are all about, you will never ever be hit over the head with more advertising in a movie than with Kingsman, but you don't even know it. As I mentioned earlier the comic book was called "The Secret Service" so why add Kingsman to the movie title? It's a fucking clothing line. The Kingsman dress is nice suits all the time, bulletproof suits of course, all from the Kingsman tailors. So guess who the sponsor of the movie was? You feel stupid now don't you? But goddamn it the movie is so great you don't care.

Welsh actor Taron Egerton makes his feature film debut in Kingsman as Eggsy and he handles the role perfectly. His parkour training makes for an exciting scene and he handles the role of punk kid with a certain flare that suits his character but he's also an elegant Kingsman when he becomes trainee. Mark Strong's Merlin was one of the underrated performances in the film as was the case in his turn in The Imitation Game which is garnering all sorts of Oscar buzz, but none for him. Colin Firth apparently did 80% of his own stunts and it shows that he's prepared well for the role and by the time the end credits roll, he's a bonafide action star despite being a perfect gentleman. Firth also provides most of the humour in the film, even when he's cursing he seems to be being polite about it. His church scene is worth the price of admission on it's own.

All this aside you will leave the theatre talking about one thing most, Samuel L. Jackson's turn as Valentine. Valentine is essentially a sociopath with dreams of genocide all the while being afraid of seeing any kind of violence. He also gives the character a lisp which makes his character all the more ridiculous and amusing at the same time. A highlight is when talking to Firth's Harry Hart he comments "Y'all talk so funny".

The action scenes are brilliantly choreographed and they speed up and slow down depending what's happening giving us viewers a chance to take in the whole scene, similar to Zack Snyder's techniques he's used on movies like 300 and Suckerpunch. The hyper-violent scenes, like the aforementioned church scene will leave your jaw dropping over and over again as we move from one victim to the next.

Overall Kingsman: The Secret Service politely and eloquently clobbers you with undeniable wit, frantic yet unflinching action, and extremely adult but uproarious humour. I liken watching this film to an R-rated spin on your favourite James Bond film or obscenely asking for tea and crumpets while you bash someone's face in. It's unappologetic, hyper-violence with style. It's also an early contender for movie of the year, even with so many great movies to come I'll be surprised if this isn't a top 10 selection come year end. My final verdict is 5 knife-shoes out of 5